Hey Queen Friend! I'm back again! If you're reading this, it means you're back too, so welcome back! Glad you're here.
I was having a conversation recently and the subject of being supportive was brought up. Support as it relates to relationships with other women. During the conversation, I discovered that I had many of the same experiences as the person I was speaking with. The general consensus was that there is a large sector of women who don't support other women. I was amazed by the conversation and wanted to understand why.
One of the reasons that came up was the fear of being outdone or exceeded. If I'm being honest, I totally agreed with this reason. Instead of realizing that just because one woman is shining in her light, doesn't dim ours. She may be thriving in the lane that is hers and that does not make your success any less grand.
When I began to explore the first reason I couldn't help but wonder if this mindset was somehow a learned behavior. As I was speaking I started thinking about how our experiences as women and with women are shaped by our first experiences with a Supreme Queen. To be clear, a Supreme Queen is a woman who has had a major influence on your upbringing such as a mother, auntie, grandmother, or Godmother. Okay so now that we are clear on that definition. Another reason why women sometimes struggle with supporting other women could be that they may have never seen that supportive example in the relationships their Supreme Queens had with their friends. For me growing up I can remember watching my mother as she interacted with her friends. I didn't realize it until I became an adult, but much of what I knew about friendship came from watching my mother in her relationships with other women.
Okay, last reason and it's a doozy. Confidence. Sometimes women find it hard to support other women because they are insecure about themselves or maybe one particular area of their lives. To be honest, it's hard to admit when you don't have it all together in a particular area. It's even HARDER sometimes to let another person know. Most often because of our fears of being judged, we choose not to say anything or ask for help. So instead, what do we do? We "hate from the sidelines". Okay, maybe not hate, but definitely not supportive. Make it a practice to be okay with not being perfect. Can we normalize that? We don't have it all together and never will. So let's stop faking and cut the act! Instead of allowing our insecurities to influence our relationships with women. What if we admitted our insecurities and asked for help? We all need each other and can learn something from each other.
So there you have it. What do you think? Drop a comment below and let me know how you feel about supporting other women?
Be sure to tune in to my podcast Beneath the Crown, every Friday! This week we will be discussing this topic with a special guest!